Locked in my heart –

Chuck & Janet-11-27-2003Quote: “You are locked in my heart.  The key has been lost.  You must stay there forever.”  Frau Ava

This morning I went to Huntington Beach at the end of Brookhurst Avenue.   Five years ago today we had a memorial service for my brother, Chuck, in the same area after he passed away.   I’ve gone down to the same area every year since then just to remember and honor Chuck in my own way.  I sit and read, take a few pictures of the water, sand, birds, and shells.  I’ll even pick up a few shells like I did that morning five years ago and add them to a small jar on my kitchen window sill.  A couple of times I’ve stopped at the cemetery and left a shell or two for Chuck.

I’ve often wondered if anyone else in the family or if any of his friends have done anything similar.  I’ve never invited anyone because I like the solitude and being alone with my thoughts and memories.  Well, I did bring Nick along one time but had to keep shushing him because he didn’t “get it” – it wasn’t the time to chat.   As I’ve sat on the beach I’ve notice a couple guys who are about Chuck’s age and wonder if they’re there to remember him as well.   This morning, one guy even removed his ball cap and scratched his bare head in a manner very similar to Chuck’s.  I almost went over to ask but decided not to intrude on his quiet time.

After taking pictures this morning, I sat and read while enjoying the warmth of this January morning in Southern California.  I think an angel tapped me on the shoulder to make me look up when I did because there was a small group of dolphins passing at that exact moment.  Thanks Chuck There were only 4 or 5 that I could see and I only got a couple of pictures that are so-so.  But I couldn’t help but whisper “Thanks, Chuck” when I saw them.  I know it’s romantical but for me the dolphins make me think of Chuck playing in the water with Mom  & Dad.  I smiled and teared up at the thought that they were together and came by to say hello to me on the beach.  I actually think of them like that whenever I see dolphins offshore but especially today.

They are locked in my heart.  And the key is lost.  They must stay there forever.